Notes
by sunshard
Summary: Hinata stared in confusion. In the margin of Sasuke's notes, underlined several times, was a name: Uchiha Hinata. AU, sillyfic.
1. daydreams

Dubious revisions made 11/23/2013.

Please don't take this story seriously.

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><p>Hinata was startled from her sleep when someone opened the dorm room door. She bolted upright in her bed, almost giving her roommate a heart attack. "W-what time is it?" she shrieked.<p>

Tenten patted her heart to make sure it was still going as she closed the door behind her. "It's a little past twelve thirty. Why?"

Bright sunlight streaming in through the window, the noise of people moving about in the hallway, and her cellphone's clock confirmed it. Hinata dissolved into quiet hysterics, curling up into fetal position on her bunk bed. From her desk on the floor, Ino craned her neck to stare up at her roommate.

"Hinata, what is _up _with you?"

"I missed my Poli Sci lecture," Hinata explained in between sniffles. "I – feel – _terrible_! OhwhatamIgoingtodo I've violated the social contract between student and teacher I'm such a horrible person I'll never pass now oh _whyyyy_ – "

Ino shook her head in disbelief and returned back to her laptop, wondering if Hinata realized that the blonde herself was ditching class at the moment and suffering no such moral qualms.

"Hinata…" Tenten tried, grabbing the books she'd returned for and quirking an eyebrow, "you know that your professor probably won't even notice you're missing, right?...I mean, it is a pretty big class, isn't it?"

Hinata lifted her tearstained face from her pillow and blinked. "Oh. You're right."

Her brunette friend sighed and left the room, shaking her head. Ino tapped away at her keyboard.

After a bit, Hinata scrambled down the bunk bed ladder and left the room, heading for the bathroom. It kind of amazed her (and her friends) that she had gotten over her college's bathrooms being gender neutral, but somehow she had grown used to greeting Lee in the bathroom as he scrubbed his teeth to blindingly white (perfect for striking nice guy poses), tiptoeing around Sai washing paint from his pale hands, and avoiding the notorious standing stall like the plague.

As she put brushed her teeth and eyed her unfortunately tangled hair in the mirror, she wondered thoughtfully what she should do with herself now that she had missed her lecture. It was a strange feeling, not attending class, and was probably one of the worst things Hinata had ever done in her life.

She giggled, feeling naughty, then immediately regretted it when Shikamaru walked in to wash his hands, giving her a weird look.

A little more careful of herself after that, she spat out toothpaste and went about rinsing her mouth. Maybe she should do some chemistry review with Ino, if her blonde roommate was willing, or go and actually eat lunch before class for once, or go over some of her notes –

Hinata's soul froze. _Notes_! How was she going to get notes for her missed lecture? She usually attended that class alone, having found no one with the same schedule and preferring to remain alone and undistracted anyway. She paled to think how her grade would suffer, and started to hyperventilate again into what Tenten called her "irrational panic" mode.

Then someone emerged from one of the showers, walking past the sinks on his way out. He was only wearing boxers and had a towel thrown over his shoulder and was dripping water everywhere. Perfect abs, messy dark hair, intimidating black eyes, regal bone structure – recognition dawned on Hinata. "Sasuke!" she squeaked before she could stop herself.

The young man stopped and stared at her, shower basket bumping against his leg. "What?" he responded, slowly.

Hinata was horrified at herself for initiating this conversation, but it was too late. She had just remembered that Sasuke, her floormate, shared the same class as she did. He would always intentionally come late to choose his own seat and avoid fawning girls, usually a few rows in front of her. Hinata, whose eyes were keener than the typical person's and tended to inadvertently wander, had noticed that he took fewer notes than others, often leaning on one elbow and looking bored as Professor Hatake explained neorealist theories of the end of the Cold War versus constructivist ones.

But it was better than nothing. And she _had _to have those notes! Even if he wouldn't take his eyes off her bedhead!

"Could I see your notes on Hatake's lecture from today?" she found herself asking, a pleading look in her lavender eyes.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, tired eyes looking faintly amused. "What's this, Hyuuga Hinata missing a day of class?"

"I overslept," she said miserably. "Please, can I see them? I'll return them to you as soon as I can, I promise."

Sasuke eyed her sweatpants decorated with Disney characters and shrugged. "Sure. Come by my room later."

He shuffled out of the bathroom, rubbing his wet hair and flicking water everywhere.

Hinata threw water in her face, wondering why he had been staring at her so intently. Then Kiba walked in with Akamaru, the dog he had smuggled into his room, and announced his intentions of potty-training him in the big stall and she forgot all about it.

* * *

><p>After changing out of her pajamas, Hinata made her way down the hallway towards her destination. She had Sasuke's room number memorized, mainly because of her four month long crush on his rambunctious roommate that had lasted until Naruto asked Sakura out. Not that the introverted Hyuuga had ever actually gone in there.<p>

She knocked on the door, warily eyeing the pictures of half-naked women pinned to it (drawn courtesy of Sai for Naruto's enjoyment), and waited.

The door was opened a moment later by Sasuke, who had put on pants and was fitting his arm into the sleeve of a shirt. "One second," he said, standing aside. "Come in."

Hinata was surprised to find herself stepping in. She supposed she would be more worried if there weren't so many rumors that Sasuke was as asexual as Sai. Somehow she didn't believe it, but felt Sasuke was unlikely to take advantage of her. She probably wasn't even his type.

What was more distracting was the _wasteland_ she'd just walked into. The floor was strewn with dirty clothes, books, and discarded plastic ramen bowls. The lower bunk bed was unmade and had papers all over it. There was a creepy pile of socks in the corner that smelled like goats. What she assumed to be Sai's desk even could use a little cleaning up; parchment rolls thronged all over the surface and a drying ink brush lay quiescent on his chair. The only haven of cleanliness was the desk that Sasuke was currently walking towards, navigating the dirty floor like a pro.

While Sasuke rifled through his papers, Hinata glanced around curiously. The walls on the right were covered with Sai's drawings; on the left, there was a bureau with a family picture on it. Hinata blinked when she realized it was Sasuke's.

He had been _adorable_ as a kid.

"Here you go," Sasuke said finally, coming up with two pages of notes. His black eyes fixed on her looking at his photograph.

Hinata's eyes dropped to the floor, blushing that she had been caught, and accepted the papers. "Thank you," she said. "I'm – really sorry for the trouble!"

"It's not a problem," Sasuke said with a sigh, seating himself at his desk and nudging aside from candy wrappers on the floor. "See you around."

Hinata tiptoed out, kicking aside some of Naruto's wifebeaters on her way to the door.

* * *

><p>Later, Hinata was transcribing Sasuke's scrawling notes onto her laptop. Like she had thought, he only wrote down the most salient points; concise, but well-worded. Interestingly enough, he also had a penchant for drawing things in the margins.<p>

There was a picture of a duck with a sword; a stick figure Sasuke kicking stick figure Naruto in the junk; clouds shaped like tomatoes; and scribblings about his observations of people around him. He was quite perceptive, though one had to expect that from him.

Most of his scribbles said things like "_wish the girl two seats down would wear underwear_" or "_guy in front of me has a crush on Hatake"_ but one caught her attention. It looked like a list. As she read, her eyes narrowed in puzzlement.

Sasuke had wrote:

_Uchiha Ino?_

_Uchiha Karin?_

_Uchiha Tenten?_

_Uchiha Sakura?_

_Uchiha Temari?_

_Uchiha Ayame?_

Next to each of these unsettling names were a few remarks.

'_too blonde / would have an affair with shikamaru'_

'_glasses'_

'_tomboy. into neji'_

'_hell no'_

'_we would murder each other'_

'_our kids would smell like ramen'_

Hinata stared in confusion. But in the corner of the margin, underlined several times, was a name: '_Uchiha Hinata_'

She felt faint.

What did that even _mean_?

Why would he leave that in his notes? Did he just forget about them? Why was he attaching his surname to all these females and creepily analyzing their flaws?

More importantly, _why was her name underlined?_

Most people (Hinata included) knew Uchiha Sasuke as an unreadable genius, stoic yet devastatingly handsome. Of all the people on her floor, he was the one she least spoke to; usually, they only interacted when their floor hung out as a group. He would walk with Naruto and utter dry one-liners while ignoring the adoring looks of passing females, and hold intense debates with Neji about neuroscience. He was always the designated driver when the group went to a bar, and since Hinata didn't drink, on the way back to the dorm sometimes they'd have fascinating arguments about politics that she always wished lasted longer than the drive back. Beyond that, though, they really didn't talk.

But this…this was weird and whimsical and made Hinata realize that there was an entire new dimension to his character.

Sasuke was a _daydreamer_.

He had been imagining himself married to different girls…and she had been his top choice.

Hinata turned a burning, furious red. She grabbed the notes, found Sai, and dumped them on him, mumbling in a rush "givethesebacktoSasuketellhimthanks" before speeding back to her room to put her head under a pillow.

She never did finish copying his notes.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was quiet, but spent a lot of time absorbing the actions of people around him. So when Hinata started avoiding him more than usual (and if she <em>did<em> see him, she would be hiding her feverishly blushing face behind an upside down textbook), he was a little curious as to why.

Kiba - one of Hinata's closer male friends - didn't know when Sasuke asked, and started to get suspicious of his intentions when he questioned further. And if Kiba knew something was up, then he definitely couldn't ask Shino – he was about twenty times more perceptive than the Inuzuka.

So when she approached him at his brother's twenty-fourth birthday party, dressed in a sleeveless lavender evening dress and long hair spilling over white shoulders, he had to say he was surprised.

"Hi, Sasuke," Hinata giggled, putting her hand on his shoulder. Sasuke noticed the near-empty champagne flute in her hand and wondered who had let her get near the alcohol.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, eyeing her swaying feet.

"Your father and mine," Hinata hiccupped, "are thinking of merging companies. Isn't that dandy?" She laughed. "Dandy. That's a silly word."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and took the champagne glass from her. So she was a giggly drunk. He never would've guessed.

Well, this was as good a situation as any to figure out what was going on with her, he decided. Good thing she was such a lightweight. No wonder she never drank when the floor group went out.

"So why have you been avoiding me?"

Hinata blinked slowly at him. "Because, Sasuke, I _know_."

His aunt was calling him from across the decorated garden but he ignored her. "Know what, Hinata?"

The petite girl smiled widely and fixed his collar. "But it's okay, because I've started to think that I could like you too."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke grew increasingly alarmed. No one was supposed to know about his secret crush on the Hyuuga girl! Not only was it embarrassing (if Naruto found out, he would never let him hear the end of it), but the young man who knew four languages fluently and could run a mile in four minutes had no idea how to express her feelings to her. At all.

Only Orochimaru had found out his secret, and everyone knew what had happened to _him_.

Sasuke really liked keeping things close to the belt.

"You're _so _handsome, no one's going to deny that," gushed Hinata, talking like she hadn't heard him. "But you're not dense like Kiba or passive like Shino. You could – you could really take care of me, and not talk my ear off in the process…y'see, that's why I can't be with Naruto or Ino…"

Sasuke tried to ignore these rising revelations of Hinata's sexuality and poked her in the cheek. "Seriously, Hinata, how did you find out? You weren't…supposed to," he finished lamely.

"Oh," Hinata waved her hand around, "don't you worry your pretty head about it. Haha."

One final drunken sway and she fell heavily against him. Sasuke breathed in vanilla and peonies and blinked as she wound her arms around his neck.

"But one thing, Sasuke," she murmured breathily into his ear, "if we _do _get married, I'm keeping my last name."

Then abruptly she fell asleep, head lolling on his shoulder.

With a sigh, Sasuke wrapped his arms around Hinata's waist and pulled her over to a lawn table. He sat down in a chair and put her next to him, leaning on his side, and stared at her peaceful, sleeping face.

Then he realized what she was talking about.

His notes.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

><p>This started off a lot better in my head.<p>

Might continue this. College stories are always fun to write.


	2. family

Originally I wasn't going to directly continue this (though I will be posting another SasuHina story sometime soon)…but I was reading clockwork starlight's story Fabula Rasa and suddenly had the urge to write Hanabi. We don't really get to see much of her in canon, so a lot of how I write her is how clockwork starlight has constructed her (i.e. very sure of herself, has absolutely no filter, aggressive). Beware, it is slightly crackish ahead, with tons of shameless innuendo. Jacked up the rating just in case. After my sad attempts, you can go read clockwork starlight's many lovely works.

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><p><em>awkward Uchiha-Hyuuga interactions over the years<em>.

(at 19 years old)

Sasuke put his elbows on the lawn table and leaned on them, staring ahead gloomily. On his shoulder, Hinata mumbled incoherently in her sleep.

Itachi saw this from across the garden and came winding his way over, thanking people for their birthday well-wishes as he walked by.

"Hey, little brother."

"Itachi," greeted Sasuke solemnly.

"Aren't you going to wish me happy birthday?" the older Uchiha asked, mock-offended. "I'm not surprised you've bored this poor girl to sleep what with your sorry attitude."

"Itachi," Sasuke said patiently, "she was drunk. She doesn't usually drink alcohol, so just a glass knocked her out."

"Oh, so you know her!" Itachi quirked an eyebrow and dusted off a seat before sitting down, adjusting his dark tie. "She's cute. Maybe even a little out of your league."

Sasuke scowled at him. "Don't you have anything better to do than bother me?"

Itachi clapped his hand on his heart, looking injured. "Such cruel words. Are you still upset over that thing I did with the girls, and the gay porn, and Kisame?"

Sasuke groaned. "I told you, never bring that up again. And yes, what do _you_ think?"

One of Sasuke's aunts came over, drink in hand. "Oh, you two, bickering as always. And who's this, Sasuke? Is she your date? Not going to go for cousin Rika anymore, are you? This girl's very pretty, but you'll have to do better if you want to keep her. Don't tell me you were so boring she fell asleep on you?"

More aunts came clucking to the table, saying things more or less along the same lines. "Sasuke, you need to smile more often. Sasuke, maybe if you were more like your older brother girls wouldn't fall asleep on you. Sasuke, don't mouth profanities at your brother on his birthday…"

Itachi grinned throughout all this, highly enjoying himself. After a while, he stood up and poked his little brother in the forehead. "Have fun, Sasuke."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I hate you."

"Perfect."

A slight smile appeared on the younger Uchiha's face. "Happy birthday, Itachi."

* * *

><p>(at 20 years old)<p>

Sai's Sociology discussion ended earlier than usual, so he returned to the dorm ahead of time. He smiled politely at Neji, who was passing by on his way to the lounge, and stopped in front of his own door to get out his key.

Then he noticed the sock on the door.

Sai eyed it, puzzled. Nothing he had learned in his classes or interactions so far had taught him about this phenomenon. Maybe Naruto had been particularly messy today and forgotten it there?

Before he could take it off and unlock the door, someone opened the door from the inside. It was Sasuke, poking his head out and looking extremely annoyed. "Naruto, you – oh, Sai. Can't you see the goddamn sock on the door?"

"Yes," Sai responded, raising an eyebrow. "I can see it."

Sasuke stared at him, then put his hand on his forehead. "I should've remembered."

"Remembered what? To take the sock off the door?"

"No," Sasuke muttered in exasperation. "I should've remembered that you're you, Sai."

Sai was really at a loss of words. "So…may I come in or does this sock have social implications I am unaware of that would bar me from entry?"

"Exactly," deadpanned Sasuke, and for the first time Sai saw that his roommate didn't have a shirt on. "Go somewhere else."

The door slammed. Sai cocked his head at the innocuous sock, then turned around and went to the lounge.

"Neji," he began, putting his backpack on the table, "upon what occasion would one put a sock on one's doorknob?"

Neji furrowed his eyebrows at him, placing his pencil down. "Uh…usually to get some privacy for, you know…" He gestured vaguely.

"Oh." Sai paused. "I see. Thank you for the clarification. I was rather confused when Sasuke placed such a sock today on our door."

It took the combined efforts of Chōji, Lee, and Ino to restrain Neji from going over there and castrating Sasuke.

* * *

><p>(at 22 years old)<p>

Sasuke and Hinata frequently played a game called "whose family is douchier?" It generally entailed complaining about relatives, getting into debates over who was more overprotective, Neji or Itachi, and swapping creepy cousin stories. Such were the burdens children of close-knit, extended families must bear.

The dreaded day arrived when Hiashi asked Hinata when he would finally meet Sasuke. Almost simultaneously, Mikoto asked her son when she was going to meet his girlfriend. The couple resigned themselves to a future of extremely awkward family dinners and played jan-ken-pon to decide who would go to whose first. Sasuke lost.

"I'm really sorry about this."

"Stop apologizing," he responded, still looking terribly grumpy and picking at his rice.

"But this is so awkward!" she whispered miserably.

He sighed. "I was going to have to do this sooner or later, Hinata."

Chopsticks clicked. A dozen silver Hyuuga eyes didn't cease staring at the dark-eyed intruder in their midst, squeezed in between their heiress and Neji at the table.

Hiashi finally coughed. "Sasuke, my nephew has told me that you and Hinata have grown…quite close over the years."

Sasuke kicked Neji under the table. Neji flashed him a one-fingered salute in return.

It was Hinata who spoke up. "We're adults, Father. I expect you to treat us as such."

Hiashi looked mollified, to most of the other Hyuuga's surprise. "I suppose so."

Another lengthy silence followed, only broken by the sounds of chewing.

"Are all your dinners like this?" Sasuke mouthed to Hinata.

"Hanabi's sick today," she whispered in return. "That's why it's so quiet."

Yet another creepy silence. Sasuke wished Hinata's relative's gazes weren't so piercing.

The door slid open suddenly, revealing a young man. "Bad news, Lord Hiashi! The Uchiha company just bought out one of our biggest manufacturing plants…"

A dozen bodies swiveled to stare at the one Uchiha among them. The atmosphere was suddenly even frostier, if that were possible.

Sasuke honestly had no idea what to say. It wasn't his fault the Hyuuga Corporation's biggest competitor just happened to be his family.

Hiashi carefully swallowed his vegetable tempura, patted his mouth clean, and stood up to go deal with it. Hinata refrained the urge to massage her temples.

"Great first impression with the family, Sasuke," muttered Neji.

"Oh, just wait till you bring Tenten in here," Sasuke replied nastily. Neji paled.

"Sasuke!" Hinata scolded. "Umm…excuse us, everyone." She all but dragged her boyfriend out the door in humiliation.

"That went well," he said outside her mansion a few minutes later.

Hinata sighed. "I can't wait to eat with _your_ family."

Sasuke touched his forehead. "Let's just not talk about this ever again."

* * *

><p>(at 24 years old)<p>

"Hey, Hinata, who's that?"

Hinata glanced in the direction Hanabi was pointing. "That's…my fiancée, Hanabi."

"I know who Sasuke is, I'm not stupid!" Hanabi gestured in frustration. "I mean the guy he's talking to."

"Oh. That's Itachi, Sasuke's older brother."

Hanabi grinned. "Ahh. Well isn't he just _fine._"

"H-Hanabi! He's ten years older than you, for heaven's sake!"

"Details," her sister said dismissively, smoothing back her long dark hair. "Besides, you got a shot at the younger Uchiha, isn't it my prerogative to go for the other one?"

Hinata covered her face. "This is the most embarrassing conversation I've ever had."

Itachi, who had much better hearing than the girls thought, couldn't stop grinning.

Later, during dinner, Itachi addressed his brother's new fiancée. "So, Hinata, just how did my little brother propose to you?"

Hinata smiled in embarrassment, having told the story countless times already. "Um...he borrowed the company helicopter and told me he needed me along for an emergency business transaction, but in reality he told the pilot to land us at the Disneyland Paris helipad…he proposed there."

Itachi winked at Sasuke. "That's so _romantic_."

"Fuck you, Itachi," said Sasuke bluntly.

"I will!" Hanabi piped up, waving her hand around. Neji choked on his soup.

Somehow, Hinata and Sasuke survived the rest of her dinner (even the part where Hanabi leaned over and told in a low voice Itachi her favorite food – bananas). They spent a moment on the balcony, Sasuke with his fifth glass of wine for the evening.

"That was – "

"Traumatizing," Hinata finished. "We should elope."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the statement. "I had the same thought."

"I mean, think about what our wedding reception would be like with both our families there."

"And Itachi and…your little sister." Her fiancée winced.

They both glanced back inside, where something Itachi said had made Hanabi bend over in hysterical laughter.

"We definitely should elope," Sasuke agreed.

* * *

><p>(at 26 years old)<p>

Though they decided not to run away in the end, some things their family did over the next two years sometimes made them seriously reconsider the option every now and then.

The fact that they couldn't have a peaceful date without being harassed by their siblings, for one thing.

"Just ignore them, Hinata."

His slender, beautiful fiancée (who was very much worth it despite her insane family, he kept telling himself) covered her face with her hands, letting her eyes peek out between her slim fingers. "But they're so _weird_."

Sasuke sighed. This had supposed to have been a nice date at one of the best cafés in Vienna, a rare off day in their busy lives. Instead, her younger sister and his older brother were sitting two tables away from them, feeding each other strawberries and grinning like idiots.

"They're really creepy," sniffled Hinata, scooting her chair nearer to Sasuke's. "And where did they get those strawberries? They don't even sell them at this café."

"I don't know," Sasuke said seriously, putting his arm around her shoulder and covering her eyes when Hanabi bit Itachi's finger…seductively. "I really don't know."

* * *

><p>(at 26 ½ years old)<p>

Hanabi really liked Itachi. It wasn't just because sometimes he made her laugh so hard she couldn't breathe or because he was the gorgeous heir to a billion dollar enterprise. Put simply, Itachi had a knack for making his normally composed little brother swear like no tomorrow. Coupled with her love of making her poised, sophisticated big sister turn red as a tomato from embarrassment and cover her ears, they were meant to be. Hanabi had never had so much fun.

"So, how's Sasuke in the sack?"

Hinata dropped the napkin she had been folding and miserably picked it up, starting over again. "H…Hanabi."

The Hyuuga girl continued on heedlessly, folding a lopsided swan and examining her handiwork. "Because, you know, Itachi is just great. I thought we could compare notes."

Hinata's eyes grew wide as saucers as she tried to shut out the mental image. "Hanabi, I did not _want_ or _need_ to hear that."

"Oh, don't pretend to be a prude, _big sis_," Hanabi said, grinning. "Neji told me all about how bad you were in college."

Her older sister's face colored red in horror. "He – he told you?"

"Sure. I've got some pictures of him in a braid, you'd be surprised how effective they are as blackmail…" Hanabi stuck out her tongue a little as she completed another awful swan. Once she put down the folded napkin, Hinata would pick it up again, undo it, and fold it perfectly. "Anyway, you never answered my question. How good is Sasuke? Should I be expecting any tiny nieces or nephews in the near future?"

"Of course not! We use…p-protection," Hinata told her, voice trailing off in humiliation.

"Protection? What's that?" Hanabi asked innocently.

"_Hanabi_!"

"I'm just kidding!"

* * *

><p>"I heard Naruto is planning your bachelor party."<p>

Sasuke adjusted his overcoat, looking at himself in the mirror. "You heard wrong. If I leave it up to that idiot, I know it'll just be all strippers and ramen."

"Oh. So who's going to organize it, then?" His uncle pointedly slyly to himself as he spoke. "Who is classy, dangerous, and sexy enough for the job?" Point, point.

The tailor had sewn on his family crest on wrong, Sasuke noticed. The red and white were flipped. He sighed and began to take off the coat and the wedding kimono. "I asked Itachi to. Sadly, he's the most sensible male I know."

"But what about me?" His uncle whined, dropping the pretense of being subliminal. "I could plan an _awesome_ bachelor party. My friend Kakashi knows a million sex positions from all those Come Come Paradise books he reads and I know a guy called Genma who can hire some ladies for cheap – "

"…For those reasons exactly, Uncle Obito, I am not letting you plan my bachelor party."

* * *

><p>(at 30 years old)<p>

Hinata hummed as she signed her name on the document, placing it aside so she could begin to read through the next one. She noticed Sōji toddling over to the table, and smiled at her son. Dark purple hair, silver eyes. She never let her husband live it down that her genes had won over his. "Hi there, darling."

"Mama," the little boy said seriously, "why don't you love Daddy?"

Hinata froze, ink pen poised midair. "Whatever do you mean?" she asked slowly, placing it down and reaching over to pull him into her lap.

"Because," Sōji explained, "you sign your name like this."

His mother blinked as he picked up the pen and inscribed her last name perfectly on a napkin.

"But," he continued, "Daddy signs his name like this."

In beautiful strokes, he formed the kanji for Uchiha, placed the pen down, and looked at her expectantly.

Hinata exhaled. It was still difficult to get used to having a genius for a son, though she hadn't been surprised when he had begun to walk at an age when most other babies were still learning to spit. Itachi's three month old son was already displaying some of the same signs. "Sōji, that's funny you should ask, because that matter is actually how your father and I met and fell in love."

Sōji tilted his head to the side. "Mama, what do you mean?"

"Well, I borrowed his notes for a class I missed, and he wrote on them that he liked me."

An adorable furrowing of tiny eyebrows. "But what does that have to do with your last names?"

"I'll explain when you're older," Hinata told him, a sentence that she frequently had to say more and more as Sōji grew more curious. "Now I have to go finish these papers and then take you to Uncle Neji's house. Daddy and I have to do some business tonight so you'll be sleeping over there."

"Okay." Sōji hopped off her lap and surveyed her with large silver eyes. "Are you going to tickle Daddy after business, Mama?"

Hinata coughed. _That_ had been the best euphemism Sasuke could come up with for their three and a half year old son? "Um, no, Sōji. Go and get yourself a snack, okay?"

Sōji wandered off obediently to the kitchen. Hinata shook her head and picked up her pen again.

Later that day, Sōji and his second cousin, Hyuuga Chie, were deciding what game to play next.

"I know the perfect game!" Sōji announced, and promptly began to take off his Ichiraku shirt (from his uncle Naruto).

Chie shrieked and covered her eyes. "Ew! What are you doing?"

Sōji blinked at her, head stuck in his sleeve. "What's wrong? This is how my parents play tickle."

After his distressed daughter told him the whole story, Tenten was forced to restrain Neji again from going on the warpath and castrating his dear cousin's husband.

* * *

><p>Hope I properly conveyed the extreme awkwardness that is the Uchiha-Hyuuga union.<p>

Potential out of character_-_ness can pretty much be explained by the alternate universe. We all know Itachi cares about Sasuke, but Fugaku prefers Itachi, so I imagine Sasuke would develop a slight complex over that. Plus Itachi is probably going to be teasing Sasuke all the time (forehead poking, anyone!) because he's an annoying big brother and he can. Hanabi+Itachi is definitely straying towards the crack end of the spectrum but I can't help liking them together, oh the shame! And I am really terrible at writing dialogue for little kids. Ah hwell. Also, who can resist sex euphemism jokes? Fun times!

Hanabi's favorite foods are bananas and milk. I am dead serious.


End file.
